To see good in your reflections: Part-1

Estimated reading time: 5 mins

“You are not what I think you are, I am what I think you are”

Another confusing title. I know, actually plain is too obvious hence, boring. It is one of the reasons for my affinity towards double meaning conversations. For those, who are already judging me, double meaning conversations aren’t bound to any genre. Take out sex from your mind.

Your reflections, something we can just relate to mirrors. By the way, mirrors are just a reflecting surface. You see what you want to see, it just reflects back. Ohk, I know, you still have no idea, about what I am trying to say.

It’s alright, it is perfectly fine, not knowing everything, every time. But I can promise you, that after reading this article, you will read the “title” again, with a totally different perspective.

Clearing the mist, what I am trying to say is, that whenever we meet someone, and whatever we notice in them, we are actually looking at our own reflections.

Imagine, one day you woke up, feeling perfectly normal, that is lazy. Fighting with all the lurings of your bed, somehow you reached your washroom and the moment you looked in the mirror, it was not you. Shit!

Certainly, a pee-pants experience. But you won’t believe it, because that face is not familiar with the face you have saved inside your head. You recognize yourself in a crowd image, by searching for that familiar face of yours, right?

Similarly, what we see in others, good or bad, whatever traits we notice, are those familiar attributes, who are saved in our mind. You can only recall things you already know and have in yourself. Simple as that.

Everybody around is a reflector, and whatever we see in them are our own reflections. All those things you noticed in others, are actually there in you.

Just like your familiar face in a mirror, you can recognize it because it is actually, there on your neck, hence that image is saved in your mind.

Got the analogy?

Hence, if you want to see good reflections of yourself all around you, want to feel happy about yourself every time you meet someone. Start seeing good in others.

This is the main thing I want to convey to all of you, through this article. It is no harm in looking for positives in others, all the time. Instead, it is great for you.

I know it is easier said, then done. But it is a great thing to do. We all want mental peace, right? and mental peace is the basic necessity of happiness. You want to be happy or not? *Just asked.

“See good around, and everything will be good.”

In this article, we will look into different aspects of this thought. How different natural things we do unknowingly, are so much related to our ability to see good around, and stay positive.

Unintentional Labels

We often judge people for our convenience. We are so mad towards, getting closures, that we just judge people on the basis of information we have about that person.

After the trials are over, we are quick to grant them with labels. Like, he is so cool, she is such a bitch, he/she is dumb, someone is useless, etc. But, before judging them, we have to consider that labels changes with person to person.

For example, for your mother, you would be the epitome of a most decent boy, so that is also a label.

But, for your friends, you are that MF Nigga! this is also a label. Same person different labels.

Hence, go slow before giving labels, let them create their own labels with their actions and not by your limited wisdom.

Slow digging

Continuing the last line of the latest paragraph, It is important to let others blossom in front of you, in the way they want to. Let them unfold each layer about themselves, in the pace they want to.

No need to rush for judgments, neither pursue more information voluntarily and secretively. *Just relax.

People like to open up about certain aspects of themselves when they are most comfortable, and no one can be comfortable in front of judging eyes.

I don’t like when my relatives judge me on whatever I am doing, they do good or bad, that is a totally different conversation. But I am certainly not comfortable in front of those judging glances, hence I can’t talk freely to them.

Let others paint their own image on your canvas, and give your judgemental artist some rest. Don’t judge, neither pursue more information, to eventually judge again. Let it grow, and reap the fruits.

Reason behind everything

Sometimes, it is not the strangers, but someone close to you. You know them very well, and suddenly something happens, and you are questioning yourself, did I really know them?

This is more dangerous than wrongly judging a stranger, you have invested time and emotions. Trust me it doesn’t matter it is your friend, lover, teacher, or a family member. You invest your precious time and emotions on all of them.

Misunderstandings should not be the last destination of beautiful relationships. *Ideally.

If someone did something mean, it is better to try thinking, why would they do that? What could be their mental or emotional condition at that time? Which made them do such a thing. Whatever it is.

Use your own examples, we always have existing quarrels with people, who were dear to us, once. Think about it.

Were they actually trustworthy? or you already expected surprises from them. In either case, there is no reason to be sad about. If you expected it, then there is no point complaining.

And, if they were actually trustworthy, then try looking this from different perspectives. Consider, stepping in their shoes. What you could have done, or how different you could have acted at that time.

It is very important to look at everything before reaching a judgment. Especially when your dear ones are the protagonist of that story. Try thinking from their perspective too, you might find a new way to resolve the issue.

Forgive not forget

Well, happiness is not a consequence, it is a choice. Whenever you are happy, you choose that moment worthy of making you happy. It could be anything, your dream job, your love of life, anything. You choose it, every time. *Wait! read the above para again.

And it is very certain that people who carry grudges are too heavy, to feel lite and in harmony.  Hence, there is no need to keep grudges in yourself, not worth your time. Hate is not worth!

But it doesn’t mean that you will trust those people again, you are removing grudges to make yourself happy. You are no enemy to them, neither friend, they just don’t exist in your life. But you don’t hate them. Why? Just told you, my love. Hate is not worth your time. 🙂

Forgive for yourself, not for them. It is the better thing to do. But, never forget.

Not only I advocate giving others freedom to unfold themselves, but I also want to give you the freedom to read, at your own pace. Hence, when the length of the article got stretched, I chopped the article into two parts.

You can continue reading on “To see good in your reflections: Part-2“.
All the best!

~R